I am being very honest in this post so please - only helpful insights..
My son's behavior has taken a major turn as of late. He hits, screams and kicks. I know to some degree this is normal for a three year old but it seems to be escalating quickly.
I was just flipping through a board on WTE about Stay at Home Mom's feeling guilty about having their husbands be the bread runner and them getting to spend the day with their children - something they ENJOY doing. One woman posted that more women need to be staying home with their children and, in turn, the men will be more responsible etc. I don't agree with this since it simple does not work like that for the majority of American families, and quite frankly, its a little ignorant to say things like that. The cost of living is too much these days and jobs don't pay what they used to. Suuure if your husband is a doctor or engineer, but what about the average lower-middle class who work in industries like manufacturing or construction?
I digress, what I pulled from her response that has stuck with me is this: Many women who work, are too mentally exhausted to give their children their full attention by the end of the day.
THIS IS MY PROBLEM! No, I am not blaming my job on my son's recently terrible behavior, I am blaming myself because I also recently discovered this quote:
"If you choose the lifestyle, you quite simply have to accept the results it produces."
This was not aimed at this context but I think it works for everyone and every way of living. Do not blame anyone other than yourself for choosing to live the way you are. No, I can't just up and quit my job, but I can focus my attention on my son 100% when we are together. I don't need to do the dishes, I don't need to check facebook but I do need to make sure my son grows up understanding responsibility, respect and humility. He needs to be able to make good decisions on his own, in real world settings and it is my number one priority to not only display that for him, but to teach him HOW to do that.
His recent behavior change is not really anger but a cry for me and for Daddy to play with him, to teach him, to love him and to show him.
Now I am the one feeling guilty, I feel like I've been taking something away from my kid but I need to remember it's not too late. He's only three, the past doesn't matter, NOW is what matters!
Love,
PlusPeace
We have a perception that we need to be perfect 100 percent of the time at everything and it's just not possible. A friend of mine says her house may be dirty, but it's lived in, not a show piece.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I have to tell myself it's ok to veg out with my daughter in front of the tv or it's ok that she eats peanut butter sandwiches every night for dinner, because what's normal?
My daughter's tantrums have kicked it up a notch too. They're starting to realize they're independent of us. Does your son have any chores? Such as feeding a pet every day, or putting up his bowl? That might make him feel involved.