We've had some..ok..times and lots of bad times but it is finally time to part ways. Oh how happy I am that I finally grew the balls to get rid of you. I have to say I will miss our periodless months and worry-free cycles.
The back pain, strange happenings and mood swings on the other hand will not be missed. I feel as though we've become one over the last three years, but don't worry, I will get along fine without you and I am sure the landfill you will soon find to be your home will be quite inviting and much more free than crammed between my ovaries.
I am not going to lie, you will be replaced by small amounts of compressed powder that will dissolve into the stomach-acid-abyss. I am sure I will come to hate them too, so don't feel bad.
Goodbye, farewell and I wish you luck.